1. Something new

• In a relationship

I don’t know how to describe the impact this relationship has brought to me. I’ve never been this close to someone in so many ways. At some point, I realized I wanted a partner who felt like my best playmate. The most surprising part is how natural and organic everything has been. The positive emotions he brings have helped me grow in ways I didn’t expect. I appreciate that he’s deeply focused – he doesn’t use social media, doesn’t care what strangers think, yet willingly invests time and energy in his friends, family, and me. He approaches people without preconceptions, genuinely easy-going, while I’m super judgmental 🤣.

• Start investment

I had three choices this year: pursue a promotion, jump to another company, or focus on building stable investment returns. I chose investing because it aligns with my long-term financial goals and keeps my dream of early retirement alive. The timeline is uncertain – it could be 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years – but for the first time, I can clearly see a path forward. What I love most about investing is the autonomy and accountability. Every decision is mine, and I own the consequences completely. The profits and losses still swing my emotions between optimism and pessimism. It’s become a mirror for self-observation and reflection. The market is brutal and unforgiving. I like it.

• No backpacking

After Morocco, I decided to stop backpacking. I realized that continuing down that path would become repetitive – meeting locals, hearing their stories, seeing new places – without much impact on my personal growth anymore. If I were to go deeper, I’d need to commit like a Chinese girl I know who lived in Syria for six months, then moved to Ethiopia, couchsurfing with locals, teaching Chinese at schools, fully integrating into each place. I can’t live that way. I need my comforts – my hobbies, my own space, my routines. So no more backpacking.

• More Climbing

Instead, I took four climbing trips this year – sport climbing and bouldering, all with friends. Since February, I’ve been climbing twice a week consistently. After 104 climbs, I improved from 5c to 6a. This is the first time I’ve felt untalented at something I’ve invested so much time in. It connects to my backpacking reflection: I need something more granular than wandering. Climbing demands that you feel every movement of your body, every point of contact with the rock. You literally can’t overthink when you’re on the wall.

• New social pattern

Between seeing Piaras at least once a week and climbing twice a week, I have much less free time for friends. Still, I hung out with friends over 50 times this year. The constraint has made me more intentional about who I spend time with. Life is about priorities.

• More connected with family

I hadn’t spoken to my father for two years when I went back to China in July. He deleted me on WeChat two years ago, and I never bothered to contact him. I once asked my therapist, “Is it okay that I feel okay disconnecting from my father?” We flew from Bali to Shanghai. I let my brothers go to my father’s place but stayed with Jingyi. By then, my father had also deleted Tiantian on WeChat after an argument, so Tiantian didn’t want to go either – but he had no money for his own accommodation. In the end, I visited at my mom’s insistence. We had a calm chat for two hours. When I was leaving, I asked him to add Tiantian and me back. He said something like, “You know I’m your father, I know you’re my daughter. That’s enough.” I thought to myself, “What the hell is he talking about?” So I just said, “Add us back.” I even hugged him. I think it’s because I’m stronger now that I could forgive.

I brought my two brothers to Singapore and Bali – their first trip abroad. At first, I felt proud that I could provide this for them. But after several days, I realized I was trying to compensate for my own childhood. The realization made me sad at first, then brought relief. I don’t need to do this anymore. I can face and accept my past now. The wound has already healed.

• Much less reading, movies and music scenes

I only read 33 books last year, the least since I became an adult. I didn’t watch many movies or go to many concerts either. I can accept the latter two, but I should read more.

2. Something old

• keep traveling:

  • March: Morocco - Marrakesh, Tanger, Fes, Rabat (11 days)
  • April: Turkey - Antalya Geyikbayiri (10 days) w/ Siyu
  • July: Singapore, Bali - Uluwatu, Ubud, Kuta, China w/ brothers (20+ days)
  • August: Spain - Mallorca (5 days) w/ Siyu & her friends
  • September: Italy - Cortina, Dolomites, San Candido, Padova (9 days) w/ Josh, West, Alexis, John, Francesca
  • October: China - Shanghai, Taizhou (20+ days)
  • November: UK - Northern Ireland, Fairhead (3 days) w/ Piaras & his friends

• physical health

  • This year i’ve exercised for 216 days compared to 213 last year.
  • Actually my performance for basic workout decreased, i could only 6 pull-ups and 10 push-ups compared to 10 pull-ups and 20 push-ups before, but my front arm and side chain gets better. In general, i’m happy about my body. I drink much less than before and take care of my sleep. Also, I achieved my goal of climbing this year.
  • next year: improve performance on climbing, target is 6c, and also swimming.

3. Something borrowed

This is the tenth year I’ve written a summary and published it here. In the beginning, I talked about books and photography, then moved on to my studies, work, friends, relationships. Every year, different things happen – some planned, some unexpected. Sometimes good, sometimes sad. I’ve always focused on the “big and important” things here, but what I realized last year is that the happiness in my life consists of tiny, small moments of joy: brought by my lover, my friends, nature, and even strangers in the world. These are all the things borrowed. And in the next following years, I will cherish them more.

4. Something blue

In September, while I was in the Dolomites, I got news that a CT scan showed a 10cm tumor near Tiantian’s lung. It took me 10 hours to get back to Venice from Rifugio Locatelli. I kept crying the entire way. My mind raced: What is this tumor? Will he die? How can I get back to China when I’ve already used all my vacation days? I landed in Dublin on Monday, rearranged work and life, and booked a flight to China for the weekend. When I arrived in Shanghai, he was diagnosed with lymphoma. The subtype wasn’t clear yet, and my family felt the hospital he was in wasn’t good enough. We wanted to transfer him somewhere better. I searched online for information. But it was China’s week-long National Holiday, hospitals barely functioned. Most of the time we just waited in the hotel (I even finished a whole Japan RPG game). Sometimes we argued about what to do next. Finally, at the end of October, my brother was admitted to Ruijin Hospital and began his first chemotherapy. Luckily, he’s diagnosed with classic hodgkin Lymphoma, one of the most treatable cancer in the world. This thing have a big impact in my family member. Tiantian paused his bachelor study for one year and came back hometown with family. My father closed the shop in Shanghai which he makes lots of efforts in the last 2 years.

5. a silver sixpence

• Take care and spend my time with my loved ones.

• Clarify what i want for next life stage.

• Climb 6C.

• Read more.

• Spend less.